Too fat to fancy letter: honest or unnecessarily honest?
"I'M not going to bulls--t you... I f--king adore you Michelle and I think you're the prettiest looking girl I've ever met. But my mind gets turned on my (sic) someone slimmer."
Wow. Imagine receiving that in your inbox after going on one date with some guy you met on Tinder.
Now I'm married and I've never online dated so I don't know the protocol of honesty verses white lies.
But to me - this was too honest, unnecessarily honest.
What did he gain from telling this woman: "So whilst I am hugely turned on by your mind, your face, your personality (and God...I really, really am), I can't say the same about your figure"?
She clearly didn't gain anything from his "honesty". She said his message made her burst into tears.
Luckily Michelle seems to be the type of woman who is comfortable with the way she looks - and so she should, she is beautiful - and has turned this awful experience into a "let's talk #bodyshaming" movement.
But really she shouldn't have had to. He shouldn't have said anything in the first place.
Do you agree?
Do you think his letter was called for or uncalled for?
And was it honest or unnecessarily honest?
What you're saying on Facebook:
Tonie Cooper: "Unnecessarily honest and uncalled for. Why did he feel the need to have to point out the thing he wasn't attracted to? What happened to the sentiment of 'if you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all?' Michelle didn't ask for a reason as to why he didn't want a second date - totally unnecessary. He's a bit of a useless tool too because he's basically saying 'if you like me, like I like you, you will change this one thing about yourself that's apparently stopping me from wanting to pursue things with you.' Why did he swipe yes in the first place, or go through with the whole date when he saw her for the first time?"
Leo Scott: "The date was being honest and probably didn't consider his words carefully. He didn't have to mention any psychical characteristics and just said, "we unlikely to hit it off" or similar. However, he may have thought he was helping her realise she has weight issue and was still keen to be with her if addressed."
Krystle Wellings: "No wonder he's single lol he'll probably die alone with that attitude."
Mark Abbott: "He is a grub..."
Vlad Mir: "He may well have said, "you need to hit the treadmill", "or go on a diet". Fat shaming is the adult equivilent of school yard bullying, but it's just as childish, just as demeaning. It causes more problems than it is intended to solve psychologically. I can empathise, because I'm overweight. I'm male, but most of the fat shaming and discrimination I encounter is at my workplace. Apparently there is no reason for being fat. You're just a lazy out of control person. The fact I suffered a spinal injury many years ago that impaired my ability to do many things, but not stopped me from actually doing them will never matter. Yes I can diet, yes I can exercise and yes I have done all of the above with some success.. to keep doing them indefinitely forever to please others? I don't think so."
Sarah Phillips: "I've had someone say this same thing to me when I was bigger. However, the look on their face when they saw me at the shops after I lost 40kg - priceless."
George Bojo: "Real women have curves. Real men have beards."
Cathy Harris-Brennan: "Why couldn't he just say he wasn't interested instead of being hurtful. poor girl, his loss hope she finds someone who loves real women and real curves."
David Heard: "Everyone has their own types. Date who you want."
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