Lockyer's worst Tinder profiles revealed
THINKING of boarding the Tinder train? The options are varied and you're sure to expand your range of choices without ever having to leave the comfort of your home.
After a partner in crime, metaphorically? Literally? Tinder is here for you, with its sprawling catalogue of possibilities. Whatever you're looking for, Tinder is sure to deliver.
Say no more. Sign me up. For those of you who downloaded Tinder hoping to complicate your life, this is the lady for you.
On Tinder, it's hard to sum up why someone should swipe right on your profile. What should you say? How should you say it? Are you even that appealing anyway? It can be tempting to distract your readers with a joke or foul pick-up line. For this fellow, it's all about the offer. If you match him, you'll be treated to his Snapchat - a prize unclear in its value but mysterious and enthralling nonetheless.
Taking the opposite approach to our pal on Snapchat, this punter has chosen to forgo mystery for honesty. When you're "not that bad" you can afford to be upfront and, when you have ducklings to share around, you're Tinder royalty. Five stars!
Witty AND he likes good times. It's rare for someone to enjoy good times. What a shame that avocados aren't on the menu. That's a deal-breaker for me.
This youngster must be a time-traveller to fit everything in - a professor by day who is eager to commit armed robberies by night. This true Renaissance man has everything mastered at just 21 and somehow has free time to plan fun outings to the bank. How does he do it? Why does he do it?
Three lines and made up words. It has to be a poem! This 24-year-old must be a poet and, by extension, a great romantic. It isn't clear what he is trying to say but, like all poetry, the meaning is holistic and it's how it makes you feel that counts. I am feeling confused and threatened.
If this isn't a winner, I don't know what is. Not only did he include an example of his sense of humour to back up his bold claims, the joke is about pushing a disabled person around and about being married.
Truly inspired. Unless … He isn't joking?
Less than a kilometre away is too close for my liking. Get back! Go on, get!
With all those acronyms, this person is using a secret code in attempt to keep cheating on their spouse on the DL. And it's working! I have no clue what they're talking about and neither do you. Let's carry on; it's probably totally innocent.
You're going to see a lot of pick up lines on Tinder and you need to be prepared at any minute to see one. Our friend above who is "longing for the touch of a woman" avoids cringey pick up lines only to lose points for using the word "longing". Vile!
Regency Downs coming through with the goods. If you're after a match with a bit of spice, be sure to swipe right on this kinky software engineer. With a niche fetish like "rubbing against road barriers", who needs to have anything else in their profile?
This lady knows how to get what she wants, mixing pragmatism with an ultimatum. If you don't message her, it means one thing.
He gets right to the point, sharing exactly where he is, where he was and what he is.