Jason Orange
Jason Orange Bang Showbiz

Take That gag tops list of festive jokes

A JOKE about Take That has topped a list of the funniest festive jokes for 2014.

A quip about the 'These Days' singers missing the "Orange" from their stocking has scooped the top spot following band member Jason Orange's departure from the band in September, with topical puns about 'The Great British Bake Off' and UKIP also featuring on the list.

The shortlist of jokes was ranked by over 2,000 men and women, with other humorous one-liners on the list being related to Luiz Suarez's preference for a "bite-sized" Christmas dinner, and the royal family's version of musical chairs being 'A Game of Thrones'.

Another of the witticisms relates to U2's decision to release their album 'Songs of Innocence' for free through Apple products earlier this year, joking the difference between frontman Bono and Santa Claus is that the latter "gives you things you want."

The laughs - compiled by UKTV's comedy channel, Gold - were thought up by comedians and amateurs and submitted on Twitter after it was revealed 72 per cent of Brits believe cracker jokes are outdated, and 70 per cent didn't find them funny.

Gold launched the annual competition as part of the channel's 25 days of Christmas schedule, which includes some of the nation's best-loved comedies such as 'Blackadder', 'Outnumbered' and 'Only Fools and Horses'.

The shortlist of jokes:

1. What will be missing from Take That's Christmas stocking this year? An Orange.

2. How does Luis Suarez like his Christmas dinner? Bite-sized.

3. What do the royal family play at Christmas instead of musical chairs? Game of Thrones.

4. What did the Snowman say to the aggressive carrot? 'Get out of my face.'

5. Why is Christmas a busy time for David Cameron? He's got two parties to organise.

6. What's the difference between Bono and Santa? Santa gives you things you want.

7. Why won't Santa visit Nigel Farage? Because he only comes if you sleep, not if UKIP.

8. Why are snowmen rubbish at cricket? They're always bowling snow-balls.

9. I got a UKIP advent calendar. It's rubbish, all the doors keep slamming shut.

10. Why is The Great British Bake Off like the nativity? Because the Star is in the Yeast.


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