Merry C-----mas? Censored Christmas banners torn down
BONKERS bureaucrats are trying to kill Christmas by airbrushing the C-word from signs and events in a mad, misguided attempt to avoid offending people.
Flags with the nonsensical slogan "very merry" - avoiding using the word "Christmas" - were torn down in The Rocks yesterday after no-nonsense Finance Minister Dominic Perrottet intervened.
"Very Merry means absolutely nothing to anyone," Mr Perrottet said.
"When you leave out the one word that matters all you're left with is a vacuous, bland platitude. It's nonsense - but it's an easy fix, and it turns out we didn't even need a focus group to get the message right. I know it's a bit out there but we're going with 'Merry Christmas' this year."
The flags were put up by an agency within the finance department but were ripped down yesterday on Mr Perrottet's direct orders following a complaint from a taxpayer who said: "Stop spending my money denying an Australian (and world) celebration."
Where's Christmas? Banners in Circular Quay that read "Very Merry" only. Picture: John Grainger
The flags are being replaced on Friday with designs proudly emblazoned with "Merry Christmas". Nearby, a statue of Santa has been erected made from plastic crates and bearing the slogan "Very Merry Crate-mas".
Hawkesbury Council's Christmas bash is called a "community appreciation party" but Mayor Mary Lyons-Buckett pointed out she does run a Christmas Mayoral Appeal.
Over at Sydney Airport, signs in the domestic terminal read: "Happy holidays to all, and to all a good flight" - a subversion of the final line from the famous poem A Visit from St Nicholas, popularly known as "The Night Before Christmas".
The Very Merry banners were torn down yesterday after Finance Minister Dominic Perrottet intervened.
The true line of the poem reads: "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night".
Christian Democrat Fred Nile is also livid about the attempts to kill Christmas: "It's a trend and I'm very angry about it. I don't want any of this 'happy holiday' business.''
It comes after academics at University of New England tried to claim Santa is a "lie" and advised parents not to tell children about Father Christmas for fear of damaging them. In an example of "elf" and safety gone mad, Dr Kathy McKay and co-author Professor Christopher Boyle suggested parents put kids at risk of trauma by talking about Santa and condemned the idea of a "terrifying" North Pole intelligence agency judging behaviour.