Bluesfest is reborn without sin
GO FORTH and sin no more was the message yesterday from born-again Bluesfest prophet Peter Noble to Byron's councillors.
Emerging from a dark night of the soul brought on by council's efforts to limit musical events in the shire, Mr Noble has seen the light – and founded his own church.
Like all good religions, the Church of the Helping Hand, with Mr – make that Reverend – Noble at its head has a mission: to save Byron Shire from cloth-eared councillors awaiting their Judgment Day, the day the music dies.
Rev Noble says because the policy aims at music events, his church will reach out to save Byron's troubled souls in other ways to beat the “discriminatory” rules.
“Set my people free,” the Father of all Festivals, resurrected as Peter Noble the Eminent, and Swami Bakveranda to those of an Eastern bent, will roar to the heavens as the faithful multitudes assemble at his outdoor temple in Tyagarah.
“Fun runs, writers festivals, sporting events, nude-ins and church revivals are not covered by the events policy,” begins the Rev's Sermon on the Mount.
“Of course there are no traffic management and other issues caused by these type of events.
“Did somebody overlook something here – or is music the real enemy of our community?
“I have decided – to comply with the social engineering plans of those who must know better than me, to proceed as it is directed – and thank the good elders on council for showing me the way. I will then have weekly revival meetings and invite audiences of up to 25,000 persons and will save them.
“And guess what? It will be perfectly permissible under the Byron Events Policy – even if a little music is played – because its primary use is not a music presentation.
“Now tell me the lunatics have not taken over the asylum.”
Byron Shire has not seen a spiritual epiphany of this magnitude since Fast Bucks came into town shouldering a crucifix.
The Rev's preaching is so powerful that Splendour organisers have joined him to spread the gospel.
They are exhorting people to send submissions to the Philistines in Mullumbimby, demanding they amend the draft events policy to allow for large events outside Byron town over the summer, to allow for more than two large events annually and to abolish the 16,500 cap on event capacity.
Deputy mayor Basil Cameron was invited to comment, but seems to have washed his hands of the matter.