Facing Christmas alone? Make the most of the "me time"


I was married for many years and now am single.

I've been adjusting pretty well and don't regret the break up because in many ways my life is better and happier.

We have teenagers who split their time between my ex and I. This will be my first Christmas all alone.

Next holidays I will have the kids with me, but I'm not sure how to get through this one without feeling too lonely or getting down in the dumps.

Any advice for surviving the holidays as a newly single?


The holidays can be a tough time for singles. It is a very family and couple oriented time.

However, particularly because it is summer, it is also a time of parties, fun and socialising.

So the key for you is in creating new traditions, new ways of celebrating and enjoying the holidays as a break from the rest of your routine.

Focus not on family time - because that isn't your experience this year - but on you time!

Embrace change and be excited by the opportunity to create new ways of celebrating the holidays ... ways that you can incorporate into your celebrations with your children next year so they feel like your new family traditions.

Use this time to make positive change rather than hark back on missing traditions from years gone by.

You might want to declare your mission to your friends and ask for suggestions.

They may even want to participate with you!

You can take a trip away from your home town, somewhere you've never been and make a real holiday of it.

You could volunteer your time with charities who are often looking for extra volunteers over the holidays to meet the demands of events, food drives and gift giving.

Throw a party - don't sit back and wait to be invited or adopted by someone in your extended friend network.

Be proactive and celebrate this new phase in your life.

Theme a party around whatever you decide to be merriest about and create a new tradition of hosting a very merry party every year in this or a related theme.

Some people like to focus on the giving aspect of the holidays rather than the consumer aspect so perhaps throw a charity party where everyone who comes gives something towards a needed goal whether it's helping a local charity or a micro financing mission domestically or overseas.

Indulge in pampering yourself and feeling beautiful, relaxed and fulfilled. 

It can feel really good to have fun with friends, all the while fundraising to change someone else's year and life for the better, as your own has changed.

Whatever you decide, you're ready with a tradition you can incorporate with the kids on the years you share the holidays with them, and the years when they aren't with you.

Indulge in pampering yourself and feeling beautiful, relaxed and fulfilled.

Play Santa to yourself and give yourself gifts of all the books you want to read, spa vouchers, and entertainment vouchers. Invite friends along to go out with you using those vouchers!

Start a gratitude journal. Studies show a simple act like writing down what you're grateful for can stave off feeling blue about your life circumstances and change your perspective to a more positive one.

Being positive is the name of the game during times of change, and a first holiday season all on your own when you've been used to "doing the family thing" is certainly a change.

So don't throw a pity party, throw a summer fun party!

Don't flee town to escape emptiness, take a holiday that from start to finish is everything you and just you wish for!

Don't yearn for family tradition, seize on the opportunity to make a brand new giving tradition and one with no expectations but your own.

And finally, love the freedom to decide it all for yourself, and with no in-laws to deal with either!

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