I BET you that when the majority of Australians voted for a tough-talking conservative man to become PM last year they didn't expect him to turn into custard at the prospect of a run-in with the likes of Vladimir Putin.
Tony Abbott was living up to his rough and ready reputation not more than a few weeks ago, promising to grab the Russian leader by the scruff of the neck, and tell him who's in charge.
Avid news watchers would have noticed Mr Abbott progressively tiptoeing back from that position over the subsequent weeks, however.
By Monday, Mr Abbott was merely "seeking assurances".
Well isn't this embarrassing? At the rate things are going, he probably turned up to that meeting still wearing his kitchen apron, nursing a tray full of warm lamingtons or some nice caramel slice in the hope of getting Vladimir on side.
I've got to say, Mr Abbott, you've really disappointed me on this one.
I genuinely was hoping you would shirt-front Putin, just to see which international gladiator would come out on top.
Anyway, Tony, I hope the meeting went well and that you get all the assurances you need - just don't overcook the lamingtons or Vlad won't be at all pleased.
Of course, after the APEC Summit, we've got G20 to look forward to.
That's right, beautiful Brisbane and all its freedom loving people will be on display - well at least those of us who don't decide to flee in fear of being caught inside some kind of post-apocalyptic crazyland where police outnumber citizens by about 100 to one.
Locals have been told not to be afraid of the added security measures, but to embrace the fact that our city has managed to secure such a prestigious event.
A friendly word of advice from our friends in law enforcement, however: Go where you a told, do what you are told and, most importantly, don't be seen taking photographs of your wonderful city in any of those special restricted areas - unless you fancy a night in the slammer!
Come to think of it, it might be better to take Ray Hopper's advice and run for the hills.
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