THE ABC's laid-off journalists may soon find themselves rehired as advertising salespeople under a new broadcasting proposal.
Management and HR consultant Foster de Spair has pitched a plan to the communications minister where the "ABC would pay their way by competing with commercial broadcasters for advertising spend."
"Moving the ABC to a commercial model just makes sense," he said.
"We can save taxpayers millions per year and give the ABC the same long-term prospects as its competitors.
"All things being equal the ABC should collapse around the same time as the rest of the news media."
Journalists and Creatives Organisation for Fairness spokesperson Will Hector called the plan "nonsense".
"Journalists have trained for years, honing their communicative abilities, making contacts and sharpening their own brand," he said.
"Those kinds of skills just don't translate into modern sales environments.
"Soon we'll be seeing Annabel Crabb selling crockery in a rockabilly frock or Leigh Sales composing jingles for Gerry Harvey."
Earlier this week ABC management were criticised for the "Hunger Games" approach being taken to the lay-offs.
An "anonymous source" told the Courier-Mail "the hounds were the worst."
"I thought seeing our producer take an arrow was bad, but the packs of baying dogs just got so many of us.
"Terry Jones tried to protect us, but Mark Scott was just too hungry to be stopped."
Frisky Business is a satire column. It is not real.
P.S. Best of luck to my colleagues over at the ABC.
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