OKAY, it's been 30seconds and Sam's complaining. I have this horrible feeling that every time he opens his mouth that it's either going to complain, or tell us all how that he's the best and that he needs to get the girl.
He complains some more and then Osher swans in to save the day. Thank god.
He's got the magical first red date card in his hands. Fantastic, let's get this show on the road.
Who's it gonna be? Please be one of the actually interesting guys, not one of the tossers.
Ohhhh, yay, it's Jake. That's okay. Jake's a babe.
The clue - "let's hang together". Well, that's a bit vague. That could mean anything.
This so better top Nikki's first date with the helicopter.
Jake says he's got butterflies on his way to the date and is all nervous. It's cute.
Georgia says that she picked Jake for the first single date because she had the best chemistry with him on the night of the beer party. Well, she did turn around and watch him walk away.
She says he gives her butterflies too.
So they're in the Blue Mountains and it looks so pretty.
So they get into the cable car after some "we're so excited" hugging. She says there's a surprise down at the forest floor and she likes challenges and adrenaline.
The cable car stops dead literally in the middle of the mountains and she suggests they go down to the forest floor like she'd planned - but jump out the window and rappel down the 100m.
Poor guy looks absolutely terrified.
Well, he shouldn't be that shocked, the clue was "let's hang together" after all. They had to do some "hanging" somewhere at some point.
So they get suited up, Georgia's scared, he's scared and I'm scared for them too.
Why can't they just go for a nice walk in the mountains like normal people on a normal date? Oh, wait, they're not normal people, they're on the Bachelorette. Silly me.
But good on gorgeous Jake, he goes for it.
While that's happening, back at the mansion Cameron's found another date card. I'm guessing that's a group date card.
All the guys we care about - Courtney, Clancy, Lee and Cameron score a spot, as well as annoying Sam and Rhys. Ben is totally excited and it's pretty adorable. Matt, Aaron and Ryan get a spot on the date too. But whatever, who cares about them.
The clue is "cover me". Wonder what that's going to be. The guys think it's paintball, because that's apparently what they think of straight away.
Back to Georgia and Jake. They're on a couch somewhere in some gorgeous room sharing some red wine. She confesses that they "clicked" and tells him that they've got good chemistry. Then there's the goofy smile again. That doesn't leave her face.
He asks her why she came on the show and she tells him that something changed her perspective.
Oh, she's telling him about her mum's cancer diagnosis and that it changed everything.
She says that she's realised having a great job and career but she wants someone to come home too.
Jake tells her that he knows how she's feeling, his mum went through the same thing FIVE times in the time since he was 12. Wow, that's tough.
He says his mum is his hero and they bond over understanding what each other is feeling and now they're holding hands.
She asks him why he's on the show and he says he's looking for a relationship and now they're on the same page.
OH MY GOD THERE'S A KISS ALREADY.
Well, was not expecting that so quick. She pulls out a rose too and so Jake the babe is safe. I tell you what, Sam isn't going to like that.
Jake goes back to the mansion and the guys bug him about whether he kissed Georgia or not. He's not kissing and telling though. But they all can tell what happened and that makes them jealous.
FIRST GROUP DATE
OH MY GOD THEY'RE SHOOTING ROMANCE NOVELS BOOK COVERS.
And not just any romance novels - they're Mills and Boon covers for books set in Australia.
Wow, apparently they sell two books a second. That's insane. I suppose though if you're going to read a romance novel it may as well be Mills and Boon.
No-one seems as excited about this as Rhys.
So Clancy, Sam and Rhys are in a photo together. This is a recipe for disaster. Oh, Cameron gets the photo alone with Georgia. Good, Mr May deserves it.
They go to makeup/wardrobe and Sam is a jerk and won't share any modelling tips with anyone else when it's bleeding obvious that he has had modelling experience.
Rhys shares some tips thought, something about getting ripped and being conscious about your jawline. Whatever that means.
So first photo is Courtney, Ben, Aaron and Matt walking across a dam holding things.
Courtney gets to hold Georgia and everyone is jealous. He nearly drops her though coz he gets stuck in the mud.
They share a moment and the other guys look like they want to hit Courtney over the head.
So now's its Rhys and Sam's turn. Rhys takes his shirt off - all he wanted to do was "get his rig out".
Sam isn't happy and complains some more. Because that's what he does.
Oh lordy what is happening - Rhys just pours a bucket of water on himself a-la Hugh Jackman in Australia style. Is he allowed to do that? Or was he supposed to? Whatever.
Sam complains some more, thinks that Rhys is arrogant. He's one to talk. Now he's finally confessing that he's done some modelling. Just Big W brochures though, not a big deal.
Cameron's shoot with Georgia goes well. He looks hot and they're in barn together. They basically stand there and look into each other's eyes and laugh. They really do look like they belong on a Mills and Boon cover together.
Sam's watching and jealous because they're practically kissing.
SAM SHUT UP I AM SICK OF YOUR VOICE.
THE BEER PARTY
So now, we're in the beer party.
It's pretty uneventful, except Rhys has a plan, he's written her a poem. Because of course he has.
Oh damn, that dress. She looks amazing! I want that dress.
So Sam gets some one-on-one time with her and is going on about something but I'm not really sure what because I'm sick of hearing his voice.
But, uh oh. Rhys comes to interrupt and man is Sam pissed about it. Rhys seems seriously oblivious to the fact that Sam really has it out for him.
Poor naïve Rhys. So he gets his alone time and reads her his poem. It's basically a way to get her to give him a single date.
But she loves it, she's impressed. Interesting. Is she just humouring him or does she really actually like it? Hard to tell.
Sam's watching and picking on Rhys again.
God, why can't he just accept that he's inside a house with 15 other guys and leave poor Rhys alone?
Literally all of this ceremony Sam complains that he doesn't want to get sent home. Well, why don't you be a nice human being instead of a jerk?
But lordy, she's given him a rose. I suppose, it would probably be quite a boring show without Sam if we're being honest here.
Awww, no please don't send Ben home!! Don't do it Georgia. He's funny, don't do it girl!
OH NO SHE'S DONE IT.
Not cool Georgia, not cool.
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